You Can't White Knuckle Your Way To Success

You might not even realize that you're white knuckling your way to success. Chances are, you clicked on this blog because you're curious what this means because you know you feel off, but you aren't sure if you're approaching your journey to success correctly.

Or lack of success, rather. What's what it mostly feels like, right? I get you.

Let's start by defining what white knuckling is. According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, white knuckling is "The term used to describe the process of fighting or powering through a situation that you find anxiety provoking. Imagine yourself on a scary roller coaster ride and how tight you might hold onto the metal bar that sits on your lap. It may feel like holding on tightly is the only thing that will keep you safe. You cope with your fear by squeezing the bar so tight that your knuckles turn white." 

That's exactly what starting a business feels like. A scary roller coaster and you're gripping on for dear life. There are high highs, low lows and the drops in between are enough to make you sick to your stomach and riddled with anxiety. Starting and maintaining a business isn't for the faint of heart. And you might feel like you're being dragged along for the ride. You got everything started and set in motion, but now? It feels out of control and like you couldn't stop it let alone control it if you wanted to!

The good news? You CAN stop this roller coaster anytime you want to. No, I don't mean quit your business. I mean, you CAN stop and gain control so that you aren't white knuckling your way to the top. Business life is hard, but you can work from a place of peace and build a business of your dreams. Without the anxiety, you might be able to see things a little more clearly and therefore enable the jolting roller coaster ride to subside a little bit. Because in reality? You're probably only on a roller coaster in your mind. Your external world is a reflection of your internal world and you can change it at any time!

Deep breaths.

"If it costs you your peace, then it's too expensive." ~Unknown

If you feel like you're white knuckling your way to success in your business and your life, then I want to share 5 things that have helped me to reduce anxiety and stay in my own lane.

1. Be Present Even if it feels terrifying, try to be in and stay in the moment. So often, I get so caught up in the future, the things I need to get done, how much profit I'm going to make or what could happen IF, in my business. Once I can stop and focus on TODAY, I can feel my anxiety lighten just a little bit. And that feels like a tiny first step. From there, I have trained my brain to focus on the NEXT thing I need to do. Not a myriad of steps, not steps for dinner later today, not when I will have time to wash my hair. What is the NEXT thing I need to do? Do that. Focus on that one task and stay there until it's complete. Then, move on to the next one. I don't mean just your work to do list either. Some days, the next thing I need to do is BREATHE. Whatever the next thing is that needs your attention, focus on that and be all there.
   

2. Stop Comparing Yikes, bikes. This one is tough. If you're here, you probably build a portion of if not your entire business online. It requires you to be on social media and likely for hours a day. That can cause us to fall into a comparison trap, because while we are scrolling (and calling it engagement, but it's not), we are also subconsciously comparing ourselves to hundreds of other content creators. Some are doing better than us and we hardly notice the ones doing worse. The thing is, this is a trap that is only going to send you in a downward spiral. And, part of it is that you are not thriving because you are mentally comparing yourself to others and focusing on a lot of negative energy. On my social media channels, I have a strict no scrolling rule during business hours for myself. In the evenings, I try to scroll and share funny memes with friends and catch up socially instead of searching other content creators. It's just not good for me mentally. When I do engagement on these social channels, I set a timer for 20 minutes and engage with MY target audience quickly and I focus on them- no matter if they are better than me or not! Once I'm done with engagement for my business, the scrolling stops and I move on to things that are going to move my business foward. Because comparison doesn't move my business forward.
   

3. Accept The Process You have to be willing to suck at your business to get good at it. Everyone has to do the work! No one gets to skip to the successful end without the struggle. You have to accept that now. Even if you've experienced thriving success in the beginning, there WILL be struggles, set backs, and things that will cause you to need to experience growth. Accepting this now will help you to release the white knuckling feeling and you'll begin to get into the flow of things. And when you're in the FLOW of things, everything can move at an easier pace. When business feels easier, it might not be perfect but it will feel more manageable simply because you've just relinquished a little bit of control over the process. The tighter the grip, the harder you're going to have to fight. So stop fighting and just accept the process and ALL the growth that comes with it!
   

4. Be Compassionate With Yourself This is really, really hard work. Recognizing that will be a great step towards loosening your grip. And let me just say this- while this looks easy for everyone else- IT'S NOT. Everyone is fighting their own battles and you aren't the only crazy one going through the hard stuff. Building a business isn't for the faint of heart! It's for every badass who can last through the tough stuff long enough to ride the wave to success. People give up too quickly! Be gentle with yourself and realize that this is hard. But, you have to not only learn but also get REALLY good at the necessary skills you need to succeed. It's not easy. If it was easy, everyone would do it! Being compassionate with yourself will give you the grace to keep going. And you SHOULD.
   

5. Find A Doable Strategy & Stick To It Stop throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks! Get in alignment with a strategy that feels really good for you and that will help you to organize and move the needle forward in ways that feel authentic. Authenticity is KEY today in the world of business. And that applies to all the work you do behind the scenes too! If you can get into a good flow that feels right for you, your whole business will feel easier. And if it feels easier, it will be more fun and enjoyable. You can always change strategies if something isn't working! This is why I started blogging, creating digital products, using ConvertKit and Pinterest. Driving traffic felt daunting to me on Instagram or Tik Tok, but with Pinterest, I could utilize that platform in a smart way that relieved a lot of stress for me. If you want to learn how to Turn Traffic To Treasure, then check out this guide that will give you a MORE than doable strategy that you can stick to!

White knuckling your way to success is not fun. It's exhausting, terrifying, and it feels rather lonely. Focus on these 5 steps, what you CAN control and the positive things that are flourishing. Even if the only positive thing is that you woke up today with another chance to go for it! More often than not, our mindset is what matters the most. When you can change your mind, you'll change your life. White knuckling your way to success is a physical representation of what's going on internally. Take a breath, take a walk, and go through the se 5 steps. You can do anything and you WILL succeed! It most important that you succeed in a healthy way and that you don't quit! Jess xo

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