I Cared About The Algorithm But The Algorithm Didn’t Care About Me Back

I built my business trying to please an algorithm that could change overnight… and one day, it did. Except it was my heart that changed drastically, and here’s why.

I have spent most of my adult life building businesses online. I wake up wondering what I’m going to post today, what content needs to be created, and what angle I need to take in order for it to get seen. I work on the content, post the content, and watch the content do… okay.

I’ve listened to the gurus. I’ve bought the courses. I’ve spent money traveling to conferences, retreats, and classes all to learn about social media, how to grow your business online, and how to “unlock” the algorithm. And yes, I’m using that wording intentionally because that’s exactly how it’s sold to us. Like the algorithm is some secret code waiting to be cracked and once you do, everything changes.

Working in social media since the beginning, I can tell you: it truly isn’t that easy.

Thankfully, there’s actually a lot of money to be made right in the middle without ever going viral. That’s where I’ve built my businesses. I’ve gone viral maybe twice, and while it was fun, it didn’t magically change everything for me. More and more, these are the stories I’m hearing from creators and business owners everywhere. Going viral is hard, confusing, and sometimes it either does nothing for your business… or completely wrecks your account.

There’s a few reasons for that, but that’s for another post.

What’s struck me the most through all of this is that we all wake up every single day and unknowingly bow down to the algorithm. But truthfully? It doesn’t care about us. It doesn’t care what you feed it because it isn’t real.

So, what even is the algorithm?

The algorithm on social media is basically a system of rules and signals that platforms use to decide what content gets shown, who sees it, when they see it, and how far it spreads. Instead of showing posts chronologically, platforms like Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook use algorithms to predict what users are most likely to engage with.

The goal is simple: keep users on the platform longer.

And that’s important because somewhere along the way, many business owners stopped creating content for people and started creating content for the algorithm instead.

Now, when used correctly, social media can be incredibly powerful. The algorithm can help connect your content with the right people searching for the exact problems your business solves. But the problem is that most of us don’t actually know how to do this well, so instead we spend huge portions of our lives creating content for a system that isn’t even alive.

Missing moments with our families. Eyes glued to a screen. Performing for a robot that may or may not decide to push our content out that day.

I woke up one day completely sick of it.

When I started using Facebook to promote our photography business back in 2009, I saw social media as this incredible opportunity to get your voice and business seen around the world. And honestly, it is remarkable. What a gift that we can reach people this way.

But somewhere between then and now, I realized I was spending so much time creating content that was here today and forgotten tomorrow.

And honestly?

That feels like a massive waste of time.

I posted something on my Instagram the day I realized I was trapped in a virtual rat race and I wanted out. The strange part is that I still genuinely love content creation. I love marketing. I love communication. I love the creativity of social media and the megaphone that it can be for businesses and creators.

But that’s exactly the problem. We are so busy trying to be seen online that we are forgetting to actually live offline. We care more about what the algorithm wants than what people need. We create content that doesn’t even sound like us anymore. We chase reach, watch analytics, study trends, dance on TikTok, and exhaust ourselves hoping to grab the attention of… an algorithm.

For free.

Meanwhile our screen times are climbing, our eyes hurt, our necks hurt, and spiritually we feel more depleted than ever before. And I just don’t think this is what building a meaningful business was supposed to feel like.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the problem wasn’t social media itself.

Social media is a tool.

The problem was that I had slowly built parts of my business on something I didn’t own and couldn’t control. Somewhere along the way, I started relying on platforms to determine whether my business would succeed or fail that day, and that is a dangerous mindset to have.

Social media should support your business, not be the business.

When you care more about the algorithm, you slowly stop thinking about the customers you do have and become consumed with all the people you don’t have. You start chasing bigger numbers, more reach, more followers, more visibility. But somewhere in the middle of all of that, we stop seeing people as actual people.

We see them as numbers.

We dream about reaching 100,000 people online, but I honestly don’t think most of us even understand what that really means. One hundred people is a lot of people. One hundred loyal customers is a gift. One hundred people choosing to listen to you, support your business, buy from you, and trust you with their time and money is significant.

But social media has trained us to believe it’s never enough. And when we start viewing people as numbers for an algorithm to push around instead of human beings we’re meant to serve, we lose sight of what actually matters.

The more I stepped back from constantly chasing visibility, the more I realized I wanted to build something slower… but stronger. Something sustainable. Something that could still exist even if social media disappeared tomorrow.

I started realizing that the businesses I admired most weren’t built overnight. They weren’t built on one viral reel or one lucky moment with the algorithm. They were built slowly. Through trust. Through consistency. Through relationships. Through people returning again and again because they found something valuable there. Through genuinely caring for people.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that some of the strongest parts of my business had nothing to do with going viral at all. It was the emails people replied to. The blog posts people found months later through search. The YouTube videos that kept working long after I uploaded them. The quiet things. The slower things. The things social media tells us don’t matter anymore.

Community.

Not community built on viral trends. Real community built by showing up consistently, helping people, listening, caring, and creating something meaningful over time in the ways only human beings can.

And maybe that’s the biggest thing I’ve learned through all of this.

I cared more about the algorithm than the people I was actually trying to reach. And the algorithm didn’t care about me back.

This isn't about quitting social media.

I still believe it’s an incredible tool. I still love creating content. I still believe the internet can connect people in remarkable ways. But I no longer want to build my business chasing visibility at the expense of my peace, my creativity, my family, or the people standing right in front of me. I want to build something slower. Something deeper. Something sustainable.

Something built for people first.

You do not need to go viral to build a meaningful business. If you want help creating content that connects with the right people instead of constantly chasing the algorithm, grab my Content Conversion Checklist. And if you’re craving a healthier, more sustainable way to grow online, join my email list. That’s where I share the deeper conversations about marketing, traffic, messaging, and building a business that lasts.